Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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