I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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