one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
