I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize