I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
