I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
