Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
