I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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