First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
