So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
