i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
