All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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