Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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