Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
