just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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