He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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