I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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