pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We need a shit load of segways right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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