Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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