he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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