This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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