Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
