at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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