Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
