We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
