I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize