you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
