her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
