woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
