While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
