Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
