People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
