They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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