You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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