the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
