Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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