Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
