ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
