Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
