Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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