you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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