We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
