I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize