Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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