If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
