Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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