I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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