I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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