im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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