OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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