Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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