Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
