I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
