Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
