She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
MIDGETS
????
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
