I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
