My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
