No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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